The Cock Tease:
Unless you’re into making out, and an awkward hand job, then The Cock Tease might be just the girl for yo
u. For the other 98%of us, we’re better off just avoiding The CockTease. I mean, what type of chick goes to a party, finds some poor dude, leads him on, pounds his pud, and then leaves out of nowhere? I’ll tell you who, a girl who’s never had blue balls before. Thanks for the handy, but next time maybe loosen up my belt first…
The Sloppy Seconds:
You ever catch yourself saying “wow that was easy”? Well, chances are that theguyshe just blew before you was thinking the same thing. Congratulations, you my friend can now add another brother to your disgusting Eskimo family.
“I’ve never had sex with a 10 before, but I once fucked five 2’s”… Having a one night stand with “The Regret”
is a sure as shit way to wake up smelling like shame, and bad decisions. In hindsight, having a competition amongst your friends to see who can take down the biggest “hog”, sounds like a funny idea. However, that’s one game where nobody wins… Braggingabout
“The Regret” is like bringing your AYSO trophies to college, both makes you look pathetic.
If you’ve ever wanted to mimic the physical response of a fish out of water, then hooking up with a lush is your best bet. Her breath might smell like eight cans of shark shit, but who are you to judge? Let’s be honest, you’ve already drank enough to kill a midget. Not to mention, you know that menthol cigarette, or that dip of Grizzly? Well, that’s not exactly considered a breath mint either… I see a walk of shame in her future.
The Double Wraper:
If the game of STD roulette doesn’t interest you, then make sure you wrap it up. Believe it or not, when guys get drunk,
we all become experts in the field of gynecology. We can distinguish if a girl is “dirty” based off of her appearance alone. When our expertise comes into jeopardy, guys turn to their buddies for advice. At times, only one condom might look about as useful as JFK’s bullet proof vest. “I don’t know man; I’d double wrap it if I were you”.