The Average Unemployed College Graduate | A Day in the Life
For some people, joining the “real world” takes just a little longer than they would like.
1. Wake up at 10 a.m.
2. Eat breakfast.
3. Watch The Price is Right at 11 a.m.
4. Applyforone job.
5. Eat lunch.
6. Realize you haven’t brushed your teeth yet today.
7. Brush your teeth.
8. Color code your closet.
9. Read another person’s status on Facebook about accepting a job offer.
10. Throw your computer across the room.
11. Make your mom a Twitter.
12. Put deodorant on.
13. Apply for another job.
14. Check your bank account balance.
16. Check the status of Kate Middleton’s pregnancy.
17. Do laundry aka wash the tshirt and pair ofshortsyou’ve been wearing everyday for the past week.
18. Rewatch season 1 of Friends.
19. Stare at your college diploma.
21. Eat dinner.
22. Check Amanda Bynes’s Twitter.
23. Feel better about yourself for 5 minutes.
25. Calculate how many bottles of wine you could buy with the money in your bank account. (53)
26. Apply for another job.
27. What’s that smell?
28. Put more deodorant on.
29. Filter through your Facebook friends, delete everyone you haven’t talked to since high school.
30. Play Avril Lavigne’s “Here’s To Never Growing Up” 35 times.
32. Remind your friends you don’t have any money when they ask you to get drinks.
33.Onlin shop for furniture to put in your future apartment.
34. Buy a salt shaker. Not a pepper shaker. Just a salt shaker.
35. Spend a half hour deciding who your spirit animal would be.
36. Beyonce, definitely Beyonce.
37. Shoot the shit with Siri.
38. Get in bed at 10 p.m.
39. Dick around for 2 hours on your computer.40. Consider buying a gym membership.41. Google “Sugar Daddies in my area”.
42. Decide whether or not you should change out of the clothes you slept in last night and wore all day.
43. Decide to change. But just your underwear.
44. Fall asleep to the sounds of your dad snoring in the other room.