Tips to Skip Class | Dee Lee Say’s F*ck Class
If there is one thing that every college student has in common, it is waking up in the morning and thinking… fuck class. This feeling occurs the most when it is nice outside and everyone is day drinking. Who the fuck wants to be that loser going to class when everyones raging outside!? Well here are some tips on how to get out of class without getting on your teachers bad side.
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Tip #1 – LIE
Well no shit right? Whatever you do, DONT BE AFRAID TO LIE. Lying the probably top 10 of our favorite things to do, whether youre willing to admit it or not. Everyone does it, so dont be a goody two shoes prude. Make up ANYTHING, there is an infinite amount of excuses that you can think up to make your teachers feel for you and maybe even over think the absence. But remember, try not mix it up because teachers are not retarded and they will know when your family member passes away twice in one semester, or if you have a tummy ache every week. Some of my personal favorites…
- “doctors appointment”
- “job or internship interview”
Tip #2 – Be sincere
Dont be a douchebag or cunt in your email to your professor, thats just retarded. Be extremely polite! because remember, you are trying to get them to feel sympathy for you. I always love to start by putting “I hope you are having a good morning/afternoon/day so far”. At the end of your bullshit, simply insert “Thank you for your time and concern”. Finally, end with the cherry on top “Sincerely, Your Name”.
Tip #3 – Timing
If youre gonna lie, you have to sell it. Think from the professors point of view. If youre getting an email 5 minutes before class, it probably is bullllshittt. Try and get the email in as early as possible, and if you overslept, after your class so that they think you are in so much pain youve been in bed all day.
Skipping class isnt bad if you can get away with it. Follow these tips and youll be day drinking and getting extra sleep whenever you want. Its just too easy, why wouldnt you!? Besides, if youre paying tuition, why cant you decide when you want to go to class or not without being penalized?
- Dee Lee