Combat Vet From Florida Wants to Marry His “Porn FIlled” Laptop

Chris Sevier is a man on a mission to continuously troll the United States legal system. We’re talking about a guy that sued Apple because it sold him a computer without telling him about the evils of porn. The same man that filed a motion to sue A&E after it fired Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson when he was caught spewing antigay talk. Now, Sevier has taken his trolling to the “great” state of Florida!

Sevier claims, in his 24-page document, that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.” Keeping with this logic, Sevier wants to marry his “porn filled Apple computer” according to his filing.

His argument:

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

porn, laptop, apple, chris sevier, veteran, florida

Sevier is “a former Judge Advocate and combat veteran”,  and is trying to make the legal system “put up or shut up” on the equal protection argument upon which the push for gay marriage is based. Because he is afraid that ” “sexual orientation” never existed as a classification until President Obama came along to advance his “social agenda to make America a ‘gay nation.'”



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