Company Offers Bonuses for Employees Who Don’t Use Bathroom During Work Hours

bathroom breakWaterSaver Faucet Company of Chicago is offering employees bonuses to hold it in all day. That’s right, don’t take a crap or pee during work hours, and get rewarded. I really hope they’re not testing their faucets all day. That sound of water running would sure make me want to piss myself. After observing that employees were taking “excessive” potty breaks, they decided to implement a bonus consisting of a $20 gift card for any employee that does not use the bathroom for the whole month. You have to be shitting me (no pun intended)!

My first question after hearing this was, how are they going to track their employees’ bathroom habits? Although it may have pissed off a few of its employees, WaterSaver actually installed swipe cards on the john doors and limited employees to 6 minutes total of bathroom breaks per day. I’ll tell you that sometimes when #2 isn’t working for me, it takes about 20 minutes to squeeze out a turtle head, and  that’s only my morning session. Watersaver may  have thought their employees wouldn’t give a shit about the  new policy, but the shit just hit the fan (hopefully it wasn’t because an employee wanted their gift card so badly that they crapped on their desk fan). “The company has spreadsheets on every union employee on how long they were in the bathroom,” union representative Nick Kreitman said. “There have been meetings with workers and human resources where the workers had to explain what they were doing in the bathroom.”