Dumb Chicks on Facebook | “Top News,” Really?

Being the 5 year Facebook veteran that I am, I’ve come to realize one thing: I’m friends with some really dumb broads. Hold up, pump the breaks Susan B. Anthony. There’s no need to get all feministonmy ass. Rather than trying to explain myself, I think I’ll just show you their status updates instead.

Note: All names have been changed to protect the parties’ privacy.

Break Up Betty:Im doin it one step at a time…. ★ showering then work..

Wait, you’re going to shower and then go to work? Clearly she’s “doin it one step at a time”. I really like the fact that she’s sticking to the game plan, but I would have been a lot more impressed if she decided to shower at work. Some people find multitasking to be a huge turn on, but I guess I’ll just let you be the judge of that… [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84-vNGVzokE[/youtube]


Double Standard Debbie: I really enjoy having sex, and that’s offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which is sad. I haven’t met a lot of men who’ve said, “You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!”. That’s because they wish their wives or girlfriends would have more sex with them.

The main difference between dudes and chicks: If a key opens many locks, it’s a master key. If a lock is opened by many keys, then it’s a pretty shitty lock.

Prego Patty:In the hospital now…I gotta have a c section :(

I swear to god, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. In life, there are two things that should always stay under wraps; herpes, and c section scars. Not only are you a single mom, but now you have an unflattering scar as well. I see match.com and speed dating in your near future.


Don’t worry ladies, I know plenty of guys who suck at facebook too. With that being said, keep a look out for part 2.



Keith Morgan