A Freshman’s Guide to Managing A Drunk Friend

The freedom of college is what most high schoolers crave for all of senior year. The pros and cons can vary, but one of the biggest typical freshman dreams is to go out, get wasted, and not have to deal with your parents either that night or the next morning. Because of this, most kids go CRAZY. At least a few times in your college career, you’ll probably find yourself babysitting a friend who’s had a little too much to drink that night. I have friends who never really drank before college, so the fact that they have to learn how to deal with a super drunk kid without any experience is slightly daunting to them. Here are my tips for learning how to handle the too-drunk friend:

    • MAKE SURE THEY DRINK WATER. This is easily the #1 rule of the night when you consume alcohol. For every alcoholic drink you have, make sure you drink its equal liquid weight in water. Keeping an already drunk friend super hydrated is crucial, since it will help them piss out the alcohol from their system.
    • Don’t give them aspirin if they complain of a headache or stomachache. Mixing booze and medicine is a literal recipefordisaster, don’t do it!

  • If they feel sick, get them to a bathroom IMMEDIATELY. Even if they’re of the opposite sex, stay in the bathroom with them and make sure they’re alright. If you’re unable to get into a bathroom, have a trashcan on standby – having a plastic bag to line the bin with help a lot with clean up. Don’t let them use the excuse “I don’t want to throw up, though!” Vomiting will get the alcohol out of their system the fastest.
  • Nobody wants to do this, but try to have someone stay by their side until they fall asleep. When I was the drunk friend, I was fortunate to have someone stay in my dorm until I was alright and they even left a bottle of water by my bed for the morning. If you have the option, BE THIS PERSON. INSANE AMOUNTS OF KARMA POINTS WILL FOLLOW.
  • People try to avoid calling DPS or SUA until they absolutely have to. I totally understand why people do this, since it avoids the awkward walk [or stretcher] of shame down your dorm, the phone call to your parents, not to mention the hospital bills. Look, I’m not going to preach on what’s right or wrong to do in this situation, but if your friend is showing signs of alcohol poisoning [slow/irregular breathing, extremely low body temp, excessive vomiting, or the person goes in and out of consciousness/cannot keep their head up], do the right thing and call DPS. As cliché as it sounds, you could save their life.
This might be repetitive, but again, some drinking tips…
  • Again, DRINK WATER. Seriously. It’ll save you a hangover in the long run.
  • Don’t mix alcohol. Combining vodka, rum, and box wine all in one night? Absolute chaos. Don’t do it. Pick one type of booze for the night and stick with it [plus WATER, right? Right.]
  • Know your plans for the night ahead of time. How are you getting to/from the party? Do you have cab money in case? Don’t you dare lose your SU ID! Essentially, know how you’re getting home ahead of time so you won’t be stumbling around without a way back to the dorm. Waking up a friend by calling them at 3 am, drunk as hell, asking for a ride when they’re all the way across campus? Not fun.
  • Take a multivitamin before you start drinking, and the day after. If you’re hungover, try some Emergen-C packets and, say it with me now, DRINK A TON OF WATER!
The bottom line is, you’re probably going to be this friend or deal with this drunk friend at least a few times here at ‘Cuse. You gotta be prepared and know what to do; thinking on your feet is crucial. Having fun and staying out the hospital is probably ideal for most of you guys.
Party on, amigos!

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