College Major Slogans for Insulting Your Friends

History:

Bar Trivia #1 Draft Pick! Still Unemployed.”

Bio-Engineering:

“Fuck the FDA!”

Engineering: 

“The odds are good, but the goods are odd.” (For Women)

“The women are like parking spaces. Taken, handicap, or way the fuck out there.”

Theatre:

“How to Determine Your Sexual Orientation By Sleeping With Everyone You Meet.”

Technical Theatre: 

“The guys that aren’t gay?”

Geology

“Alcohol and Guessing.”

Sociology:

“Learn all the concepts and definitions of the blatantly obvious.”

Philosophy

“I think, but I’ll need a doctorate before anyone will actually pay me to do it.”

Economics: 

“We’re not Goddamn Business majors.”

“We do it with models.”

Communications: 

“Keeping NCAA student-athletes eligible for 60 years.”

Business has too many math classes.”

Look, I just want to graduate and get a job, any job.”

Electrical engineering: 

pop “SHIT! Time to start over.”

“Whatever you do, don’t release the magic smoke.”

Environmental Studies:

“Like environmental science, but no math/science required!”

Biology: 

“I’m not medically trained to diagnose you but I will try anyway so I can procrastinate on my daily sobbing-over-my-GPA.”

Political Science

“Your opinion is wrong.”

We hate politics even more than you do.”

“Where everyone is an expert in your field, even when you’re the one in the room with a degree in it.”

“Why don’t you vote?”
“I majored in political science.”

Statistics:

“Wait…we have to do math?”

Biochemistry:

“Making drugs for taking drugs.”

The top half of every class is pre-med. The bottom half used to be.”

Computer Science:

Are you socially awkward and love staying in on weekends?”

IT: 

“I honestly would prefer to be doing this from home.”

Nursing:

“The girls to guys ratio is off the charts.”

Math: 

“We have came up with a truly marvelous slogan, but there’s not enough space for it here.”

 “No, calculators haven’t made us useless!”

Software Engineering:

“Seriously, there is NO REASON why this shouldn’t be working.”

Hardware problem, not my job.”

Physics:

“Theoretical Engineering”

“Even Engineers need someone to help them with their homework.”

Finance:

Because fuck debits and credits.”

Music:

“Thank God your girlfriend has a job.”

Astronomy:

“It’s not fucking astrology God damn it.”

Don’t hate on your friends too hard, though. They might be at one of the top 100 party schools in the country. In which case, you probably still want that invite.