In life, society can be broken down by two demographics; the haves, and the have nots (a.k.a. the fat cats and the underprivileged). Being that most of us fall under the latter, it’s a fair assessment to say that we deserve our slice of the pie too. Let’s be honest, not all of us have the luxury of being some big shot gas station owner. However, while Richy Rich is over there stuffing his Hollywood britches full of money, I’ve devised and tested a fool proof plan on how to score some free—late night booze from his gas station.
Step 1.) The waiting game:
The only downfall to this plan is that you have to wait until the store can no longer legally sell booze. In the meantime, you should hit up a bar that doesn’t have a cover charge, and then take full advantage of all the unfinished drinks that are left unattended. Fat cats these days rarely finish their drinks.
Step 2.) Head down to the gas station:
After getting your free buzz on at the bar, it should be just about the time where gas stations or package stores can no longer legally sell alcohol.
Step 3.) It’s go time.
Now that you’ve arrived at your target destination—stumble into the store—while making sure that you give off the impression that you’re extremely intoxicated. Granted, this might take a bit of acting, but practice makes perfect. To help really sell the performance, it’s in your best interest to be super friendly with the cashier. Don’t be afraid to slur your words.
Step 4.) The beer cooler:
Make your way to the beer cooler and grab the strongest shit they have. If this is your first time, I recommend grabbing a Four Loko. Beggars can’t be choosers.