It Could Happen To You, Because It Happened To Me: Morning Coffee

Today, for the first time in months, I woke up at 7:00 AM. Trust me, I tried to fall back asleep, but having “sleeping beauty” aka “Tom Tom the Snoring Bomb” for a roommate made that rather difficult. However, being awake


at seven wasn’t all that bad. The reason being, I was saved- saved by Zack Morris and the cast of Saved by the Bell (nothing like early morning TV). Another reason 7:00 AM didn’t suck: having the time to take a real shower. In other words, instead of just kneeling over my tub to wash my hair (a well-known family trick), I was ableto take a long, hot shower without feeling rushed. But, being up early enough to enjoy a good breakfast is clutch, and the best part of breakfast is coffee; or at least I thought it was.

Did you ever have to excuse yourself from a classroom because you had to take a shit? I’m sure your answer is yes, and if it’s not, I bet a few of your peers would tell me otherwise. The only way not to give off the “I just took a shit signal” is quite simple: sprint shitting. A successful sprint shit revolves around two key elements. What are these key elements you may ask? Well, let’s just say they go by the name “Quantity” & “Size”, and they are your X-F

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