So, you’re really thinking about pledging? Well, good fucking luck with that. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good old fashion frat/sorority party as much as the next guy. However, it would be a cold dayinhell before I’d ever join a fraternity. Reason being, I refuse to pay money just so I can call you my friend. “We’re closer than friends, we’re brothers”—Hey, I’m not here to judge. For real, I’m a former boyscout and I know the fucking motto—”what happens in the shower, stays in the shower”. Anyways, just in case I haven’t pissed off enough people— let’s takeagander at just how lame your future sorority might actually be. By the way, remind me to never attend a party at The University of Alabama…

-Keith Morgan


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