Throwback Thursdays: Rules to Save News Feeds Everywhere! #TBT

Ah yes. The alliterative days of social media have fallen upon us; a time of the week, which dictates what our posts and hashtags should be themed. What started it all? Throwback Thursdays. Throwback Thursdaysor“TBT” has been an especially popular cultural phenomenon with hundreds of thousands of pics posted each week detailing the past of “social medialites” all over the nation. While I enjoy a good #TBT pic here and there, the masses have taken this idea and turned it into a monsoon of posts that infiltrate nice news feeds everywhere and, frankly, I’m a bit tired of it. If we must engage in a little #TBT action, here are some essential rules to follow in order to avoid getting “unfollowed”:

MAKE SURE YOUR POSTS ARE ACTUALLY “THROWBACK: I can’t tell you how many posts I come across on #TBT that are from a party last freaking month. Sorry guys, but Throwback Thursday should not be used as a vehicle for the pic you forgot you had,wanted to post, and felt like you needed to contextualize in order to preserve its relevance [teenagers are the biggest violators of this rule because everything seems like forever ago…luckily I follow no teenagers]. If the milk in my refrigerator is older than yourpicture, it does NOT deserve the #TBT hashtag. The only exception to this rule is 1 -6 month old babies…because a month is a big ass portion of their life. However, the babies must post these pictures themselves.

“SELFIES” SHOULD BE DISTINCTIVELY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE NOW: While the sheer quanity and idea of “selfies” piss me off [not opposed to a selfie here and there but lets keep it quality people!], I give a little more leniency when it comes to #TBT because its cool to see folks as cute ass babies or in their awkward middle school class photo. However, a selfie from two years where you look exactly the same as today is just a selfie with an expiration date. Its like saying, “remember when I was the same?” Yeah. And no one is interested.

JUST BECAUSE IT SOLD DOESN’T MEAN ITS APPROPRIATE: For some reason Throwback Thursday seems to make it ok to post otherwise inappropriate pictures. Dude, just because it was five years ago at a frat party doesn’t suddenly make it ok to post a picture of you shaving your ass. As was true five years ago, no one, and I mean no-one, wants to see that.

REFRAIN FROM POSTING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE HISTORY: What many seem to forget when posting on #TBT is that Thursday happens every week. Hence, it is unnecessary to chronicle your entire childhood, adolescence, and college years on one Thursday and eff up my newsfeed with a gazillion posts. This makes my attitude change from “what a nice little tidbit of information about this person” to “awesome. Here you are AGAIN. If your younger self knew how annoying your current self was being they would punch you in the face”. Remember: There are MANY Thursdays to come.

There you have it. Follow these rules and lets take back the “Throwback”!