How To Hook Up on Tinder| To Tinder Or Not To Tinder? |
We’ve all been there. You spot a hottie from across the room, but you’re too scared to go talk to them. Well, talking to hotties just got a whole lost easier with a new app for the iPhone.
For those ofyou who haven’t joined the craze yet, Tinder is an iPhone app created to connect you with people nearby in a very superficial way. You are able to swipe through photos of guys or girls in your area, swiping left for “nope!” or right for “liked!” depending on their attractiveness. If both parties swipe right, then it’s a “match” and both users gain the capability of starting a conversation. The app is connected to Facebook, so you must have a FB account to participate in this app – the pictures you swipe through come from users FB albums and shared interests and mutual friends are also displayed.
When I first heard about Tinder, I knocked it hard. I thought it was disgustingly shallow and just flat out ridiculous; you’re judging people simply based on whether they have a six-pack or not. But as soon as I downloaded the app and started swiping, I was hooked. I’m here to let you know what to expect when you start “Tindering.” This is mostly for the ladies, because my Tinder experience has only been from a lady’s point of view.
First, there are the guys looking to hook up. You can spot these turds from a mile away. They’re half-naked in three out of their four pictures, their arms are around a different girl in every picture and their tag line goes something like, “I’m on tinder trying to get laid probably drunk be warned,” or “Eat, sleep, fuck, and flee in four words that’s me.” Just FYI, those are both two tag lines I have come across while “Tindering.” If they choose to start a conversation, the icebreaker will be something like, “Hey sexy. Wanna hook up?” or “Yo girl, what up.”
Then, there are the guys looking to get wifed up. In my experience, these guys are a bit older, 26, 27 or 28. Their first picture is usually a perfectly cropped photo of themselves in nice attire, most of their photos are of them and their male friends holding beers and their taglines read something along the lines of, “Professional baseball player/cuddler,” or “Do you believe in love at first swipe?” Again, tag lines I have come across. I have even come across a 27 year old’s tag line that was a five paragraph essay about his work history, his interests and what he’s looking for in a girl. He means business. Most of my conversations with these guys have been longer lived and more interesting than my conversations with the guys looking to hook up, if you can even call those conversations. The guys looking to get wifed up want to know what you do, where you’re from and are more interested in getting to know who you are before asking you out for a drink.
Finally, there are the guys and the selfie mirror pics. They get their own category, because there are many and I don’t know what other category to put them in. All four or five of their pictures are of them, half naked standing in front of a mirror. The same exact picture four times, just different mirrors and maybe a different color towel. These guys could possibly fit under the pseudonym, Meatheads. Their tag lines go something like, “Yeah, tattoos. I’m about dat life.” These guys are very similar to the guys looking to hook up, just more self-centered.
I’ve seen more and more guys putting their Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat usernames in their tag lines. Guys have also given me their numbers, requesting that I text them instead of chat with them on the Tinder app (The app does suck the battery life out of your phone). However, Tinder has become more of a game for me than anything else and adding guys on Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat, or starting a texting conversation takes away some of that vagueness and anonymity that makes talking to strangers more fun and easier.
Nevertheless, I’m addicted. If you come across me on Tinder, swipe right. Maybe I could be your Tinderella.