Why the 90’s Pop Station on Pandora is Amazing| How to Insure it Stays Amazing

As a self-proclaimed music junkie, I try to steer as far away as humanly possible from “pop” music. Most of it is done in poor taste. It has no substance. And just like every single person who has ever made that previous statement I secretly love the catchiness of the music that finds it’s home on the radio and your iPod for a 6 month period before being forgotten, only to be remembered by you every few years with the classic question “oh my god you remember that song?”.

In a previous post I stated that our belief that media of any kind from our childhood will just seem better to us (you can find that post here ). Now I’m not going back on the statement that the media from now is no better or worse than that of the 90’s, however it does feel different. There is certainly a difference between Lou Bega talking about all his women and Lil’ Wayne talking about all of his women. And it’s all psychological. Which brings me to my next point the 90’s Pop station on Pandora is the best thing to ever exist, ever! It’s more amazing than the Agro Krag combined with Summer Sander’shair, it’s that amazing! There is never a moment in your life that does not call for the use of the 90’s Pop station on Pandora, according to a survey I made up it is known to increase your happiness by 900%. This is due mostly to the nostalgia releases endorphins throughout your entire nervous system right to the spot that controls happiness (this is also mostly made up).
All jokes aside the station is good fun for all, and if used correctly can honestly put you in such a good mood, causing you to easily go over your monthly listening limit and making you use very minimal skips throughout your listening experience, but you have to follow some simple rules.
1) Have no shame about what you’re listening to. To achieve complete nostalgia and euphoria you must let go of the fear of being judged. With little to no resentment towards songs, you can make even the largest group of frat guys become little girls dancing to The Backstreet Boys.
2) Use the thumbs up button often. If a song comes on that you can be man or woman enough to admit is catchy don’t be afraid to click that like button.
3) Use the thumbs down button just as often. It becomes you close friend for those songs that weren’t even good in the 90’s. If the thumbs up button is like a mother who made homemade cake for you everyday after school, think of the thumbs down button as a father that didn’t verbally or physically abuse you.
4) Don’t become arrogant, don’t let yourself think that you’re becoming super cultured, because you’re just lying to yourself.

If you follow those few steps in no time at all you will be so full of glee and nostalgia that important matters like phone bills or proper eating habits will go right out of the window. And really that’s what the dream of the 90’s is all about, and it can live inside of you (and Portland).

Also one last tip, it’s acceptable to post lyrics on Facebook from 90’s songs once or twice every few months. Anything past that makes you look like a weird person who will get deleted by most of his friends and family. Now we don’t want that do we?